The dichotomy of ‘the sexes’ is the largest,
most prominent, but also mostly denied ‘identity.’ As a figuration, though and as a ‘marker,’ it is considered a legitimization (orv.v.), in most popular figurations and bubbles. It must be an extreme, or an undevided‘ name.’ You’re someone or you don’t exist and are likely not to be ‘tolerated’ and ‘cancelled out.’ All this, provided one at least ‘tries’ to be ‘respected,’ or ‘to belong’ and defers to the supposed hierarchy of the named and known bubble, at the risk of being contested, mostly by women in the ‘female role,’ because in the last instance they are supposed to consent as ‘host.’. When men ‘take charge,’ if only by their dependent, instinctive longing and thus deferring ‘spouse-roles,’ by doing women a ‘favor,’ showing them their ‘admiration,’ as ‘lover-boys’ do, while likely ‘enemies’ or competitors may be debunked, but are also praised a little , when they feel shame at the deriding, or theft of‘respect,’ which could seem cowardly and could cause guilty feelings of jealousy or envy.
It’s only human but no different than in any herd. There’s always discussion, and fun about these situations of being ‘recognized,’ or not. In ‘our’ pandemic-time, one must show deferrence too to the women’s care and is legitimately surveyed by them, as it obviously is their ‘prerogative’ in all such games, like partner- and recognition-choice. We were (almost) all taught and disciplined first, once, by our mothers, ‘them,’ and thus apparently, by a female bubble. It could be ‘their’ last strand, when they cannot rely on automatic respect for ‘beauty’ or their laughter and derision anymore.
In these trying days we all realize it’s not just the girls who are at stake, when nobody bothers about the economy or productivity while money is printed digitally: Charisma, authority? We all hope for glory and influence, in our gamy encounters.
Guilty feelings are real or supposed losses, including loss of ‘stature,’ like the supposed ‘castration’ of women, always denied, which women are often teased or derided with. Their ‘power’ is diminished by this enigma. Themen, of-course, need encouragement too from, but like women, to ensure they will not be ‘castrated’ too, which is their unconscious, but unreal fear, coming out.
The ladies, however soon find out how sexually attractive they can make themselves by showing off their femaleness and by gesticulating their readiness to ‘give in,’ or to comply. This ensures their chances of being satisfied too and always gets them very excited. They even talk about this amongst one-another. So they know and exploit the ‘taboo’ too. They’re usually considered smarter.
How ‘possible is all this? Where’s the proof? I promise, I’ve seen/heard it all in my 72 years on the planet and: Figurations are collections of identifications, but dichotomies too, i.e. what we now call ‘bubbles:’ Elias ’figurations’ all over! We name anything we might ‘own’ or wish for.’Names’ spread with wishes: A language emerges by our reifications (‘thinging,’naming) and classing them among our peers, be they persons, named phenomena, people with certain attributes,or features and institutionalizing these to assumed bubbles in a hierarchy: I did it too! We were statisticians all the time and we make our ‘guesses.’ Sorry, but many think this ‘knowledge’ and these wishes are power in a hierarchy, felt as pride and honor:
Self-fulfilling prophecies make our languages.
We ‘analyze’ and assume a cause we want! Both your home-made dichotomy and ‘theory’ by association. In time, the ‘truth’ may emerge contrarily.
Women are experiencing loss of power. They, especially ‘black’ ones, go about as an enlarged persiflage of their ‘selves,’ which they choose themselves. They wear slacks (1950+), mini-skirts (1960+), a cleavage and wear less to impress. They blondify their hair or bind it in strings or wear blonde, long-haired wigs and ‘walk the line.’ At the same time, all ‘gender-‘ and discussion of sexual competition, is considered or felt to be ‘dirty.’ Enyone must be clean and green to be acceptable, it seems. Many men are scared by this exhibitionism, which buys the girls influence for a while. With these, other dichotomies evolve continuously, through the ages. Coloured people often feel inferior by their having been disregarded or teased, along with their ‘normal ’toddlery frustrations, and are often in ‘opposition,’ complain about all ‘authority’ and ‘higher’ status figures, which they still consider‘whites,’ or, ‘hindus’ and all ‘officials.’ The list goes on.
What this means for their educational and motheringwork and their offspring, can only be guessed at over the generations, but it goes on steadily, believe you me. In the long run the abstination keeps women in power, but sadly unhappy. Of course the ‘lower class’ have their remedy: They do fuck, for pleasure, or a home and stature-chance, but sometimes they get infected. So, there’s more lies, theft, violence and grandeur at Bijlmermeer.
People often think they own their neighbours (‘stuff) in their gossip. The gradual changing of sex- and power relations in societies (see theses: 4;p.10), from matriarchic fights, ‘help,’ and theft, to more patriarchic and reasonable, cannot be proven with statistics: It’s qualitative, but obvious.
All we can do with a little shine of ‘the Sciences,’ or rather years-nalism, is to give relevant and comparable examples and samples that are still valid in the mid-term. Of (secondary) observations. Good journalism is the best we’ll ever do. With these sub-, and unconscious wishes and ‘self-’ definitions and identities, we are in limbo if we don’t keep on testing the theories and ‘well-meant’ lies, to help them seem real, which they do become if ‘believed’ by enough ‘interested’ hearers or onlookers that in turn ‘speak-out to enough people who do the same and makes them ‘media,’a ‘narrative’ and a wanted ‘frame.’
But rebels abound and are respected by many for being a little paranoid, which can be helpful in research efforts. We conclude: The passive, analytical and hierarchical ‘ways’ have come about with the feminine sex in our evolution, along with chorus-like commentary, non-verbals and gutturals: laughs, schrieks and jaw-dropping‘wows.’
Language is female:They had to barter, not to fight.
But they are in retreat and what is ‘woke?’ Most people see ‘woke’as primitive female interests and opportunities of housing, beauty, greatness, liquids, helping needy, a ‘wound, ’tear (both ways), cave, babies, power, vulnerability, pain, secrecy and fights, they had to (or barter, not to lose), to suffer, clean/se, feed and save ‘the world’or situation (by‘magic,’or ‘smartness,’ but preferably by) ‘their men, suffering or deprecating ‘others.’The superstitions, ‘bubbles’ and ‘figurations’ we ‘love,’ ‘own’ and identify ’with: To‘belong,’ with our belongings, certainties and territories. This exempts hardly anybody from lying and cheating about their ‘status’ towards others and themselves, or to demand to admire and to be admired and complimented and obeyed, or else be ‘cancelled.’
‘Feminists’ rediscovered their old competitive tricks, they feel ‘left out,’ which they were in a way, over time. They claim what thei’re losing to be a ‘right,’ even succeed in ‘shaming’ whoever is left with some trauma and feels left themselves. We expect to brag about the ‘shared’ bubbles, or to be considered ‘depressed,’ or even as ‘enemies,’ and then cancelled, as so many, coloured immigrants children have suffered at primary schools, which they still resent and wish to be compensatedfor and also ‘feel’ enormous pride for, even at a later age. It’s a mechanism when ‘open wounds’ are advertized and in mass-‘media.’.
I’m not debunking females, but noting changes.
To enable one to gobble-up such a ‘greater’ ‘thing’ and to be ‘part of it,’ which is a repetition of oral phase (our first) behavior and a regression. It is considered ‘survival, ’understood and accepted as such, with all the accompanying euphemistic and often even biblical wordings, ‘eh-ehs’ and ‘hee-hees,’in the game of love and manipulation of and into it. Next we have some splendid textualized talk with gutterals, from Agatha Christie and then ‘Our beginnings,’as seen by Sigmund Freud(1915-‘17/-‘33) in New Lectures on Psychoanalysis, From (1938-9) Moses and Monotheism (his last work) then, (1905/16), but abridged: (1972)by E. Mosbacher: Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality, and then some by A. Mitscherlich, S. de Beauvoir and E.T. Hall. You may recall some of it from way-back-when. I am grateful to N. Elias for his ‘thing- naming’ advice about our anthropomorphing, which even I still do, I admit it takes quite a bit of ‘undoing’ old prides not to. , But Elias cancelled the role (and ‘function’) of the sex-taboo also: It protects from disease, orphans and over-population; It is like magic or being ‘smart,’to women that are active and like to set rules of engagement when among men or potential ‘partners.’ They test their obedience and devotion and ‘love.’ Men often accept this, when they have not been battered enough or are in ‘want.’ Just the analysing won’t do, nor will Chat-GPT, which does no more, with many seemingly precise or ‘huge’ numbers, (double) names, titles, aliases, nicknames and citations about ‘their’ highs, (records) and lows, pains and gains, to make text seem more ‘fealy.’ We must learn to accept or not and to compare these ‘selves’ to know any other identifications, whether ‘made-up’in the game or real.
A course on societal moleculogy, with identifications of parents and teachers identifications, multiplied or replaced, always with the ambivalent MFLGBTPoles (P=protestant or sheite religious), not as in a choice,but it is as in chemistry, it’s there, like the Post-Traumatic-Stress-Syndromes, we hide.
This‘doubt,’and ‘secrecy’ about our wishes and interests elucidates them to be more conscious, at least to those educated, by ‘the media,’ Of course this education is always biased to the control-wishes of the ‘educator’ (me?) and we all know how ideologically fervent our primary and secondary school-teachers were, even if we sympathized. The same goes for all ‘news-,‘ and ‘social’ media we now hear and see so much of as weread less for comparison. A lot to learn and remember and to ‘weed- and pick out,’ which is the real education, if you ask me, and which processhas no end if we do not learn to revoke earlier choices (..is to eat humblepie) and convictions, whether identified with or just pretending. We’re so proud. One caveat here is, that we easily tend to present abstractions, which are generalized interpretations of observations, so that empty rhetoric ensues, but I must admit that that last sentence is a good example of such a case, which, however is not so empty of meaning, because the abstractions ‘fit,’ do not overlap in meaning, or remain undefined, which initself may lead to ‘static’ meanings, that are not ‘for ever.’ We (me too) unfairly insist to be for ever, as we wish.
Everyone has his/her male and female ‘sides’ too and these ‘other’ sides go deep: They are there in all their ambivalence. Men pout too and girls will fight each-other or beleaguerers, in the play-ground or later if cornered in a cul-de-sac situation. But they will also seek these out as very exciting, or being ‘vulnerable,’ as they also have these ‘desires.’
Calling oneself ‘non-binary’is an excuse and only exists as lazines r passive resistance. Girls are competitive among each-other for the(ir)winning status of their ‘heroes.’
If we do wish for an explanation, I conclude that these male and female ‘sides,’or rather identifications, often grouped to recognizable ‘bubbles,’ with by now commonly used letter-names, which are only rough and pamphlettized to media-narrative categories that only very partially might characterize any character.This bubble becomes part of anybodies ‘unknown,’ and secret game of representation and the management of it. Most strongly in case of those who may have or want (of) ‘something to hide:’ Like victims of exclusion/cancelling, or just easy targets for status-loss.These include anyone or any bubble that is considered ‘high-class,’ and who or that may have a ‘trusted’ or representative function, like policing of ‘members company-’ work. Setting of work-rules for these individuals,
in bubbles or known categories of them is a typically female-‘side-‘thing. Especially the ‘male’ or ‘female-‘considered parts of this behavior are under scrutiny and are a cause for bothderision and moral-outrage, also in the media. They emerge and are politicised in TV-shows, athome, clubs, schools, in our bubbles.Thanks,
P.S: To eat ‘humble-pie,’ or to grieve is not mens ‘department’at all. ‘Bubbles,’our identification-collection, burst or dissolveand leave trauma’s that do not heal and of which memories stay unconscious and repressed. We all have ‘em, so search for the ‘bad’ feelings and the dreams that are what’s behind our sublimations, obsessions and interests. They’re what makes us ‘tick,’or not: These subconscious memories of our pampered toddler existence, including our ‘other sides,’ which we should accept and learn to appreciate, must most probably still ‘emancipate’ and grow in confidence and empathy for others ambivalences.
Elias was right cancelling anthropomorphing (reïfyingand naming situations) and studying the figurations, bubbles and our ‘spirits’ and ‘ghosts’in-stead. I could not include his introduction to‘The Civilizing Process,’which is available on Archive.org. With his ‘figurations,’ which we fantasise with Freuds ‘pleasure-unpleasure-principle,’with our own megalomaniac dreams,usually denied or replaced with ‘spiritual’ utterings or rituals, like the other taboos (which seem to be‘magic’ or ‘smart’ (to many women and any mans female ‘side.’), and also the sexual-ones, when one has been ‘teased’ in kindergarten, i.e: for colour, LGBT, ADHD,or shyness (autism or ‘Post-Traumatic Stress-Syndrome.’).This inferiority-complex was and is rife in psycho-analytical dream-analyses. Nothing closer to home: Grieving hurts, relieves and strengthens, we need it, badly.
